Wednesday 16 October 2013

Who comes first?


There seems to be this ingrained part of me that thinks that if my kids need something then it is important that they get it. So I tend to go without. Yes, even to the point where I wear jeans that have a gaping hole in the inner seam (upper thigh... don't stress!) until it is completely noticeable that I do actually need new pants. If my kids had a hole in their pants, they would never wear them in public again, and new pants would be purchased ASAP. 

Am I the only parent who does this? Sometimes I think that this way of thinking somehow springs from that fear of "Oh gosh! What if everyone thinks I am a bad mum??!!??!!". What? Because I allowed my kids to wear pants that had a hole in them? Sometimes I think I need to do a bit of growing up. Who gives a flying McChicken burger what everyone else thinks??

Two weeks ago, my trusty old laptop packed it in and officially decided that it was not going to do what I wanted. I had an assignment due in 5 days and my computer said nope - I am not opening an internet browser with the click of a button... I will take an hour to do that. In tears, I walked into the computer shop and bought a new one. Because you know what?? It is not worth being stressed over a computer that doesn't work. 

I am slowly realising that I am important too. Don't get me wrong. I love myself to bits, and I absolutely think I am worth new things; I just tend to put others' needs before my own. Putting others first is great sometimes, but not ALL the time. Sometimes, the most important thing is to say yes to ME.

And guess what?? This morning I threw out those jeans and bought some new ones. 

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